I Don't Know How to Walk on Water

{originally written June 6, 2014}

The storms are raging once again. I can hear the wind howling and the rain beating forcefully down. The waves are higher than I've ever seen. Then I see Jesus calling to me, but I'm afraid.  

How can I go, how can I have the faith to walk on water?

 On the hard days when I seem to fail in everything my pride tells me I'm supposed to do and be, or the times I look out on this world and wonder if I'm living up to my “potential”, I often seek guidance from the examples of my favorite Bible characters – real people who had real problems (and failures too!). The one I can't understand, however... Peter.

With his gung-ho spirit and full-out passion to follow the Lord (do you know modern-day people like that, as I do? *sigh*), sometimes I feel as if I'm messing up and missing out. Maybe I am, in a way. Or, maybe there's more to this story than at first appears. Maybe, it's not so much the attitude as it is about the faith.

We all know the story: Peter sees Jesus walking on the water and he decides he'd like to give it a try too. But just as soon as his gaze leaves the Son and hits the water, he's a drowning duck. Oh, how many times do I do the same! Over and over again...sometimes it feels as if I'll never get there; never to know that feeling of walking on the waves.

The truth is: I don't know how to walk on water.

I don't have the faith to stay afloat.

But I know my Jesus does.

I forget so many times...the real truth of every story ever written is that we will always fail! We're only one small part of something greater. Just look at the stories from Adam and Eve, to Abraham, to David and Paul; each one is covered not with failures but with God's grace!

When you and I fail, mess up, lose track of what God says is most important in life – He's right there to set us back on track again, forgive, and help us make a fresh start (just like He did with Peter, by the way). He carries us through those stormy, confusing times between faith and fear, wrong and right, yes and no.

It's Jesus who gives me the faith to stand.

It's Jesus who teaches me how to walk – and keep walking - in faith.

...Even through the storm.

Not There Yet

   With summer nearing and the weather brighter and warmer, I've been trying to exercise again and work out my weak muscles. Anyone who has tried eating healthier and keeping up an exercise routine knows the struggle it can be to overcome fatigue and laziness and not succumb to eating those tasty treats us gals like so much. ;)

    I have a goal for each day, each week, and an end goal I'd like to someday achieve, but for now it takes hard work and time and effort. At times it's more than I think I can stand.. I'm too tired or the treat is too tempting (and far too easy to make an excuse). It means sacrifice of my time, energy, and again...to say no to that tempting treat and emotional eating. It's about creating new habits as I try to let go of old own ones.

    And yet, the days I give in or give up seem too frequent and I grow discouraged. And it dawned on me, that I'm not there yet. I'm not yet to the end goal...there's still a long way in front of me to work on and grow in. I like to keep my sight focused on the goal ahead of me, but at times that can be more disheartening instead of helpful, especially if it doesn't look like I'm making as much progress as I would like. {I've never been good with patience & waiting}

    Our walk with Christ is like exercising... we're not to the end goal, so all too often we want to give up because the progress we're making isn't enough for us. We want to be patient, loving, kind, generous, thoughtful of others, even-tempered, faithful in our devotional times, and never to make the same mistakes that we do over and over (and over!) again. It's hard to wait for our character to catch up with what God has taught us. :) And that is why, lately, it has been an encouragement to focus on God's grace to me in my readings in Romans, Elise Fitzpatrick's “Comforts from Romans” devotional, and in “The God Who Sees You” which I've been rereading again this month.

“I am now free to say, 'Of course I sinned like this! ...I am, after all, a very great sinner. But that's not all.Not only am I a very great sinner, but I've also got a very great Saviour.'

Even on the days I forget what He's done and who He has made me to be, I still have His perfect record...because God has generously flooded our souls with grace and righteousness, we reign in life rather than being reigned over by death and sin...I've been able to reign in my life: no longer crushed by the certitude of spiritual death because of my error, no longer afraid to admit failure or hopeless that I'll never change, but rather ruling over sin and death right now, in this life, because of the abundant grace of God...because He completely fulfilled all the law in my place...It is all His work.

...So today, don't run from your failure or try to make yourself look better in your own eyes. Instead, refresh yourself with deep draughts of His grace and righteousness.

You don't need to get yourself all cleaned up. Jesus has already done all this for you. You have peace with God. Stand in the grace He has given.” - Elyse Fitzpatrick

Romans 5:17; Romans 5:1-2

  Be patient little Christian girl.

God is SO loving and patient and gracious with you.

It's okay not to be at the end goal yet.

Simply enjoy where you are on the journey.