The Struggle to “Be Real”

   I think there is something exciting to our generation in the authenticity of our Christianity. We all long to have relationships and friendships open to sharing the deeper parts of ourselves, the part we wouldn't share with just anyone. The kind where you don't have to hide or keep secret the fact that you watched such-and-such or read this-and-the-other book, or that you don't agree on every point of doctrine with them. Where you can laugh or cry... instead of pretending you feel the exact opposite. The kindred-spirit kind of relationships.

   However, being real isn't as easy as it sounds. First, to have authentic relationships as described, you must be authentic. No hiding. No pretending. Otherwise people will treat you in the same way, holding back pieces of their own lives from you, too.

   The road to being real has been an interesting one for me thus far. It's exciting to see that in sharing how I truly think and feel has opened up deeper fellowship in some of my friendships. And, how God has used it in encouraging others when I openly share my testimony of how He has worked in my life – through the good and the bad, the mistakes and the miracles. Yet I still struggle at times. I find myself asking the Lord many times... should I share this, would it be a help and blessing to someone else, or only a stumbling block? Am I sharing this real side of myself for my own glorification or as a testimony of praise to You, God? And, there are still times, too often, when I want to hide and pretend that everything is “ok”, and I miss an opportunity for God to use me.

    You see, being real not only means being honest with who you are in what you like or dislike, but also being honest when you mess up or stumble. It's much easier to give off a facade of perfectness to one another than to admit we're wrong, or struggling, in one area or another. So while the idea of authenticity sounds great, the reality is difficult to live out day-to-day with one another. And we miss the blessing: we lose the deeper quality of Christ-like sisterly friendship, the testimony of God's work within us, and the imperfect yet beautiful picture of a young woman in her walk with the Lord.

   Being real is a refining process that God is doing in each one of us. He's polishing, buffing, and smoothing; not fixing but using the cracks in His masterpiece to shine His light to a broken world that needs a little more of His love. And we have the promise that He'll continue His refining until the day He calls us home.

   Even with all it's mistakes and twisted roads along the way, the journey to being real is well worth the struggle, in the end, for even our failings He can use for good.